Home Blog Shared House Guide7 most important life lessons I've learned while being a foreigner in a new country for the first time.
Officially hitting 7 years of living in Taiwan. You too or planning too?
Anniversaries like this aren't just for celebrations; they become powerful days for reflection—a time to look back at all the extreme events, the happy wins, and the painful lows that shaped me over the last seven years.
When I first arrived, I thought I was just changing countries. What I didn't realize is that I was entering a completely new school of life.
lessons from a veteran - I've decided to condense that journey into the 7 most important life lessons I've learned while being a foreigner in a new country for the first time.
They apply to anyone who has ever moved far away from their safety net, started over from scratch, or simply wanted a deeper understanding of life and self-reliance.
Here are the 7 biggest takeaways... (I'll try to keep these brief and punchy):
1.Learning a language is simple but difficult.
The 'Simple' Language Myth :
Learning any language is simple but difficult. What I mean is that on a universal principle, just spending consistent meaningful repetitive practice or engaging with the language over even for 30 minutes daily over a extended period of time will guarantee two things .
1.you reach a good level and
2.it will become a habit that you enjoy doing or don't struggle to keep up.
it does not even have to be the textbook variety. I've meet Taiwanese who learn English simple from watching YouTube game-plays ,vlogs and I've meet foreigners learning Chinese by speaking or reading books they like. Each individual language has its own challenges like learning Chinese is about characters and tones but consistent daily work even for a year will surprise you . On the flip side many foreigners have been here almost 20 years and only know basic words and when asked they only live in English circles which is the single biggest mistake. True fluency and listening comprehension for everyday life (dialects, idioms, slang) is a difficult, lifelong game. You have to actively choose to make mistakes.
2.Moving to a new country is like playing a video game.
Immigration: It's an RPG (Role-Playing Game) especially if it's the first time living in another country. Up until you are young adult if you've only lived in your home country everything is basically spoon fed to you. simply put things is introduced to you slowly on a long time scale and by your parents .You start at Level 1 with basic life skills from your home country but other than that not much. The game gets especially harder the further the country's culture is different from yours . As someone who was born in the Americas , Asia was the furthest culture away from mine . Many people ask why I chose Taiwan. This country was the most interesting option compared to the US or England where it’s all English. which means any Asian country i go to will offer a lot more challenges but learning opportunities. This sentence is the basis for so many other points to come.
Because of this distance in culture, doing even normal things becomes so much harder. Applying for a bank account, ARC, or health insurance, making local contacts , reading any signs . Every task (setting up utilities, going to the doctor) is a Quest. You collect XP (experience points) with every success.
3.You have to be more proactive when making friends.Friendship: You Can't Wait to Be Invited
Stemming from the point up above about being a RPG character now it’s time to make your crew but unless you came with lots of people from your home country who are in the same vicinity as you making friends is harder. It's all up to you to be proactive. Even if you came with many local friends you would likely want to make many new friends right !. Okay so unlike your home country where friends are often built-in (school, work), here you have to proactively seek out social groups, language exchanges, and hobbies. It even gets harder with locals because you are basically invading already established friend groups that all locals have since they were little and that is why making friends with Taiwanese seems hard. It is not just because Taiwanese are more reserved although it is true to some extent.Foreigners tend to have more foreign friends simply because we all feel the same way so we have a shared emotion. A stranger in a foreign land looking for comfort. For foreign friends it is easy, but making meaningful local friendships takes more work and investment.
4.You don't choose your hobbies; you fall into them, especially in a new country.The Accidental Passion
Back home, you probably stuck to familiar hobbies (gym, hiking, specific clubs). Moving to a new place forces you out of that comfort zone. You don't choose to fall in love with something like Taiwanese tea culture, hiking mountains or doing lots of trail running. learning the complex rules of Mahjong—you simply stumble into it because it’s geographically accessible, a friendly local or new foreign friend invites you . or it’s the only club available in English. You learn that your true passions are often revealed through necessity and serendipity, not deliberate planning. In my case it was trail running. It almost feels like destiny because, if I hadn't met the person who introduced trail running 5 years ago randomly on a hike in the middle of Kaohsiung and exchanged contact , I would have not known about the trail running group and given it a try. I was not a particular big runner back home and when i moved to taipei i didn't have any groups of hobbies yet so this created a perfect storm for me to try it .Maybe your home locations doesn’t have good environment for running so nobody does it and then since nobody does it ,there is no catalyst to try it. Your biggest passion might be hiding in plain sight, waiting for the right place and the right random person to invite you in. Don't plan your passions; just be open to the invitation."
5.You will lose people, especially foreigners.The Foreigner Carousel: Goodbye is the Default .
Being part of the expat community means constant churn. People come for a year or two for work/school, and then they leave. No one is permanent and sometimes it can be really hard to handle especially if you develop a really good connection. Then they leave and every year you start over again, have a goodbye party for a leaving friend and start again meeting new people. I have met people who changed my life and when they left ,it’s like a sudden hole in my friend group . you promise to keep in contact but the messages stop flowing and you just hope maybe one day you can meet them somewhere in the world. You one day might leave and people here would feel the same emotion. You have to prepare yourself to say goodbye often and cherish the temporary friendships you form. i doesn't mean don't make these friends the short connection might have huge impact on your life and you can do your best to keep them in contact for life if you really value them.
6.It takes a lot longer to figure out if you will live here forever.The Perpetual 'Trial Run'
FeelingYou can love living here, but the question of permanence is heavy. It's not just about liking the food; it's about career trajectory, proximity to aging family, citizenship/visa realities, and figuring out your retirement plan. The answer takes years.
7.You are way more responsible for your well-being (mental, physical, and administrative)."The CEO of Me: No One Else is Coming"When you move abroad, the default support systems disappear. Your health is your problem (you have to actively find a doctor, understand insurance, and maybe navigate a language barrier while sick). Your Mental Health is your problem (you have to build a new routine and social life from scratch). You might have friends and all but most friends are friends of acquaintances etc , not the kind of friends you would probably tell everything too , so sometimes you might feel alone. It doesn't mean you can’t make genuine friends but it takes a while and special connection .Your Administration is your problem (visas, taxes, bills—if you miss a deadline, there's no mom or local friend who automatically knows how to fix it). This forces a level of self-management and self-advocacy that you might never have needed before.
bonus point .
Your relationship with your home country changes completely.The Home Country ParadoxYou start seeing your home country through a new, critical lens. You appreciate the good parts but realize you’ve changed. When you visit home, you feel slightly out of place—you are now an outsider there too. Taiwan is home, but your original home is not quite 'home' anymore.
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